Friday, June 5, 2015

In Thought

     First off I want to start off by saying my mom's mastectomy was a success. It's been six long months of chemo for her, but she finally had the surgery last month and she seems to be improving. Now onto the twenty percent project. So, I've been thinking about asking my teacher to change the topic of my twenty percent project because it's starting to prove a large problem for my english grade, but it  is too late. Life is a chain reaction of choices some stand strong never to fall and others bring down the rest of your life. Every decision you made from the moment out of the womb to this moment right now affects your future. The future is not something I really thought about until the first year of middle school, but once you realize how little time you have left nothing is ever the same. I mean how long do you have live on this earth? one hundred years at most which in the grand scheme of time is just a spec. This decision of what I did for the twenty percent project is bringing forth the domino effect in my set. Today I really just want to write about life and my final presentation for my twenty percent project.
     Every moment you are alive you are in a war. Although it may not be a war with weapons it is a war between you within yourself and your surroundings. Every conscious decision made requires great thought and that in itself is battel in the grand war that lasts until you are brought into eternity. The decision to do the righteous  rather than the immoral. The smallest corruption creates a grander evil and feeds the greatest evil bringing this world down in fire and in that battle the enemy wins. I know how hard life can be, but it's also really amazing you just have to pick your moments. Life is a series of strategic plans just as is war and they both can only end in death on earth, but the decisions made affect you and the world around far longer than ever thought. Think about any war like World War II for example, the countries that joined in last had the least casualties as well as the least effect in the country itself because they weren't in the war long enough to be fully corrupted. People who do not stay for long are left in what they were, the incorruption that was because of the nothing seen. For the past two days i've been trying to strategically plan for the twenty percent final presentation, but because Jamine and my time management problems there has been very little learned. We changed our action plan so many times I no longer remember what the original action was so I've been thinking of just reflecting on our project and what we have done wrong as well as what we have done right in this project.  As we get older we realize we are weak barely able to stand on our own because of this war we have been fighting. I feel mentally weak at this moment because I'm not entirely sure of what to do for the twenty percent final project
     What is the meaning of life? No one knows because it is a question that's answer differs with the person it is asked and even then no one truly knows. What are we but lost. We walk around blind, unaware of what might come next. I feel like I'm walking around blind because of everything that is being put on to me at this time; I have finals coming up a history project, auto which is a whole other thing in itself, and this. We don't know what will come or when it will go, all we know is now and what was. We have this idea that we have everything under control, but that is so much further than the truth then fraudulence. We all want a sense of security, but the truth is there is no security on this earth, whatever you are, you are in front of everyone there is no hiding what you are and there is no shame in who you are. So who are you? There are so many factors in play in our lives and all are driven to create one result, one moment in which return is unattainable. I know that there is no security on earth, but I can't help in believing in something. I believed in the Twenty Percent project but now I don't; I don't even believe in the final presentation. This world is nothing yet it is everything because all we do is done here, but in the end we either make our mark or are left as dust never to be known again. I know I am nothing, but we all change whether we know it or not we constantly change, in form, in thought, in life, etc. and that change may lead into something more. The choices we make leads to those changes and into our future whatever it may be.

     In conclusion life is a choice and I've made many choices in my life, some stand strong and others fall. The twenty percent project was a choice that has fallen deep and I'm worried the presentation will be the same. That choice will affect my life forever in ways still unknown. I know I'm not in control of my future and of the change that is yet to come, but I know it is coming and it is great. This great change is not only for me but for all people in this world and I sincerely believe there is no such  thing as a nothing if you try hard enough. Everyone is born with talents or gifts that they should use a strengthen because it was given to them. No you cannot say you have no talents because that's not true, you just have yet to discover it whatever it is and it, it is great. Sorry for confusing you if I did because I often confuse my friends by just simply being, anyway I want to hear what you think of life and what I should do for the final presentation if there is anyone out there reading this.

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